After adultery has reared its ugly head in a marriage it can be difficult to even think about trying to save a marriage. If you’re reading this after you have committed adultery and you’re desperately searching online trying to find a way to save your marriage, then you should be under no illusions of the task ahead of you.
Whatever reason you strayed, you already know that you’ve broken your spouse’s heart and you’ve let them down terribly. I say this not to make you feel even guiltier than you feel, but to impress upon you the mayhem that you have caused. Recovering from the situation that your marriage is now in, will take a focused, committed and detailed plan.
After adultery, you must come to terms with what you have done. Often times we find it difficult to accept the part that we have played in our own mess. It’s human nature to want to hide from what we have done and not take responsibility for what we have done. However, you’d be very wrong to try and hide from the fallout of your affair. Instead accept what you’ve done, own up to what you’ve done and tell your spouse you’re ready to do what ever it takes to save your marriage.
The truth is your spouse might or might not believe you’re serious about saving your marriage. An affair puts great strain on a couple. A good and healthy marriage thrives on mutual trust and commitment. When that trust and commitment is broken, it is pretty hard, but not impossible, to get back. So you’re going to have to be prepared to work to get it back and also be prepared for it to take as long as it takes to it get back.
Often times, after adultery, the spouse who has been cheated on is angry and will find different ways to hurt their cheating spouse. If your spouse is lashing out at you emotionally then for some time, at least, you’re going to have to take it. Of course this emotional lashing out shouldn’t go on for months, but for now, initially, this is something you’re going to have to put up with.
What you say now you must mean. After adultery you will find that everything you say will be scrutinized and examined by your spouse. This again is only natural, but you must be careful not to get caught in any further lies. Right now you have a job and a half to win back your spouse, imagine the setback if you were discovered in more lies. So whatever you need to come clean about, come clean about it and avoid getting caught in any further lies.
Should you stay or should you go? Only you can know the answer to that. But if there is still love between you and your spouse, then it has to be worth trying to save your marriage.